This Mad, Unfair World
by lastnight.goodnight
Summary: You never realize what you have until it's gone.   ShinjiroxMCF AkihikoxMCF.
1. Together

**"I'm going to make myself clear, I'm not gonna hold back anymore." **The surprisingly bold words of Shinjiro sent her heart into a frenzy; _I don't want you to, Shinjiro-Senpai_. In seconds, his warm lips came crashing upon her own, a shiver of arrogant pleasure shot down her spine. This unfamiliar taste invading her mouth as she was repositioned on the bed, her back pressed against the mattress. It squeaked in protest as Shinjiro hovered over her, his hands pressed down on either side of her head against the bed, never bothering to seperate their lips, not even for a moment.

Hamuko released a soft groan, her eyelids slowly raising as he pulled back, a small string of saliva formed between them before he had licked his upper lip, severing it completely. **"I have to admit.. I'm a bit nervous," **He muttered, staring her down. Admiring every angle, every curvature of her body, all of which he could happily call his own. Raising a hesitant hand, he cursed at himself before her hand had reached up, stopping his mid-way. Their fingers interwined perfectly, sealing together and she gave him a reassuring smile that made his own heart crash against his ribcage.

Assisting him in the removal of her clothing, she would unfasten the crimson bow around her neck and left it there, indulging herself in another intoxicating kiss. His free hand had already set out its target, rough fingers curling around the elastic of her underwear and gave it an impatient tug. He had _warned _her, he wasn't going to hold back. So many feelings he had surpassed, all for her, and they all wanted to surface at that very moment. His arousal for her was painfully obvious, stretching out and creating an uncomfortable tent in his pants.

**"Hamuko.." **He moaned out her name when the second kiss had been broken, tightening his grip that he held on her undergarment and forced them upright. The scent of her sex had filled his senses, furthering the desire that he held so strongly for her. Releasing her hand, he closed his eyes tightly as he had finally released himself from the tight compounds of his pants and the warm shaft of his member taken in his grasp; erect, glazed with pre-cum. Breathing deeply, Hamuko had obviously caught sight of him, blushing a color that matched her ribbon.

Turning her head away, she whimpered out to him and her fingers curled up, tightly gripping the bedsheets below her. Shinjiro hovered over her, balancing his knees on the bed, lowering his head down and pressed his lips along her jawline. Kissing and treasuring the touch of her skin upon his lips, he could feel the rising heat from her embarrassment, **"Hnn, idiot.. Don't.. look away from me.. **_**Please**_**.." **As she had slowly turned her head to look back at him, he had caught her lips in another passionate kiss, groaning softly as he could feel himself throb within his own hold. During that kiss, he jerked his hips forward adruptedly, his shaft grinding directly horizontal over her moist slit. She'd jerk back from the kiss, **"Sh-Shinjiro.. Senpai..!" **

Suddenly wrapping her arms around his neck, forcing him much closer and he smirked at her reaction whilst his eyes squinted from the pleasure, knowing that it was her.. gaining such a pleasurable feeling from her.. He trembled in her hold, exhaling shakily before steadying himself, staring down at her, **"No turning back.." **With that said, he penetrated her, slowly at first before losing himself to the pleasure and forcing the rest of himself inside, earning a quick yelp from her. Reaching back, he cupped both of his hands against the back of either of her thighs, seperating her legs and began to pace himself, even with the many articles of clothing that remained, he was still able to see himself penetrate her over and over again.

As he continued to thrust inside of her, Hamuko's moaning had esculated in a short amount of time. Surely, it would pose a problem if one of their dormmates had heard, it was enough with the bed he was given squeaking as loud as it was. So before she was able to let out a scream, he kissed her deeply, continuing to work his strong hips up against her, low smacking wet noises heard each time they connected. Dragging her fingers along the back of his shirt, she gripped hold tightly, desperating trying to keep up with the movement of his invading tongue, trembling as her lithe figure bucked against him.

With sweat gathering at his brow, he turned his head away from the kiss, keeping it down onto her shoulder where he had practically almost tore her uniform apart in order to expose her chest, grazing his sinful tongue along the surface of her untainted skin. **"Moan my name, Hamuko.." **He demanded in the midst of his moaning. With the way he was thrusting inside of her so strongly, doing such a perverse thing didn't bother her as much as she thought it would. Gritting her teeth, she turned her head to the side as he had targeted her left breast, tugging her bra off to the side before pulling it up and over the breast, cupping his mouth over the ample nipple and sucked strongly against it. He tugged, jerking his head back and her nipple slipped from his mouth with a loud smacking noise.

It was too much. Her eyes began to water, whimpering out loudly and clenching them shut tightly, she leaned her head in as pleasure began to overwhelm her. **"Sh-Shinjiro..! Sh.. Cum.. I-I'm cumming, Shinjiro..!" **Crying at the top of her lungs, something that he hadn't mind in the slightest, when she had reached her orgasm, it had hit her in full force and to feel her insides tighten around him so quickly, he had forced his attention for her breasts to the burning desire beginning to boil hot inside of him. Grabbing her wrists, he pinned her down against the bed and began to ruthlessly slam himself inside of her while she came, wanting to increase the pleasure for her as much as possible. Lost in the moment, he grunted and squeezed her wrists tighter.

**"Sh-shit.. Me too.. I'm cumming.. Hamuko..!" **Seconds after he cried out to her, lost entirely in pleasure, his seed had erupted inside of her in that instant and his thrusts had slowed down. Coming to a slow stop, the room now filled with the two of them desperately trying to catch their breath. Hamuko smiled once more, reaching up once his grip had loosened and cupped a hand against his moist, flushed cheek. His eyes widened slightly but soon settled, enjoying the moment as it lasted. **"I love you, Senpai." **Those words again. He growled softly at her, making her think that he was going to scold her again but a small smile appeared, disappearing just as quick as it appeared, he muttered back to her, **".. I .. love .. you.. too..." **before wrapping his arms around her, holding her near and dear to his heart.

Watching over her until her eyelids had grown heavy and she had alas finally fell in a deep sleep, Shinjiro glanced over at her. **"You're a real piece of work, y'know that...? Saying all these reckless things.. Who do you think you are anyway..?" **Hamuko had wiggled slowly in her sleep, a small amount of drool as she murmured to herself. **"B-banana.. cup.. yes, I'll eat them all.." **Followed with a low snore, Shinjiro's eyes widened before chuckling, surprisingly.. more than he had done so in a long, long time. Brushing his fingers over her delicate face, tugging her hair behind her ear, he had spent most of the time looking at her with a remorseful look on his face.


	2. Resolution

**AN:**

Needless to say, this scene brings me to tears, EVERYTIME.

I was excited to begin working on the second chapter, thank you readers for those lovely reviews; I hope you enjoy this one as well.

_**".. I .. love .. you.. too.." **_

The distant gunshot, soon followed by enough rang heavy in her ears as the group ran closer towards Tatsumi Port Island's back alley. Rough vibrations coursing towards her very soul, making her stomach twist. **"Shinji! Shinji, hey! Hang in there!" **The sickening feeling enhanced by the heavy atmosphere, forcing her way past Mitsuru to see Akihiko kneeling and Ken standing, petrified. Another step closer, her eyes had widened and heart forced to a squeeze as she also came across a blood-drenched Shinjiro. **"Shinjiro!" **Mitsuru cried out in disbelief, as Yukari pulled up at her side followed by Junpei and Fuuka, eyes wide as well. She felt the urge to scream at this nightmare, stumbling over and dropped to her knees beside Akihiko's side, blinding by her tears. There had to be a way to wake up..

**"Don't cry, Hamuko.." **His voice, tainted with pain and discomfort, his hand reached out for her own and immediately, she grasped it. **"This.. is how it should be.." **He weakly tried to squeeze her own hand in reassurance. As she gripped his hand tightly, Shinjiro's pants had became desperate, her tears flooded her eyes as she screamed out for him, **"N-no, please..! Please, Shinjiro-Senpai..!" **Her screaming had became more distant as his conscious was beginning to fade, with one final gasp for air, he had been rendered unconscious, his hand limp in her own. **"H-hospital.. We need to get him to the hopsital!" "But it's still the Dark Hour, it would be impossible.." "Whatever we need to do, we need to do it now!" **

Yukari stubbornly arguing with Mitsuru, Hamuko tried to squeeze his hand, which had grown cold, once more. _This can't be happening.. Shinjiro.. Shinjiro, please.. I know you're still there, you're just sleeping.. Just like that one night.. You'll wake up.. won't you..? _Repeatedly, no matter how many times she had squeezed his hand, there was no response. She would burst out in tears, Akihiko pulling her off of Shinjiro gently and wrapped his arms around her tightly. While she wailed against his chest, he held her, shedding a few tears of his own. Agonizingly, after the Dark Hour had passed, everyone managed to get Shinjiro to the hospital. His condition was stable, but it was difficult for even the doctors to determine when or even if he would wake up at all.

**"That fact that he is even alive is a miracle, if it wasn't for this.." **One of the doctors had extended a small pocketwatch that was embedded deeply by a bullet, the bullet remained inside even and nearly broke the surface by a centimeter. Hamuko reached out, taking it in surprise. _The pocketwatch that I gave him.. _Collasping to her knees, she burst out in tears once again, resting her forehead against it as Fuuka and Yukari rushed to her side, attempting to comfort her.

That night, no one spoke a word.

The next morning, it had appeared that the world had carried on. The sun was shining like usual, the birds chirping happily right beside her window. It was a dreaded effort, her entire body felt like lead, to get herself together and dressed for school. She glanced over to the table where she usually did her homework, eyes softening when she saw the pocketwatch that Shinjiro had given to her that one night. She'd grasp it, holding it closely to her chest while looking at herself in the mirror, already her eyes were beginning to water again. _The battle isn't over yet.. I.. I-I have to stay strong, for his sake.. _Slipping the watch into the pocket of her skirt, she went about her day as usual, biting back the urge she felt to cry.

In the morning, rumors had spread about Gekkoukan High that Shinjiro's condition was blamed entirely on violence, the exact opposite of what really happened. She forced herself to continue as much as she could with a smile for her dormmates and friends. It had gotten too much for her, the rumors and people approaching her and asking her how she felt, what really went down and how Shinjiro was doing now. Roughly after lunch, she had forced her way up to the rooftop and sat down on the bench, pulling out the damaged watch and glanced down at it. _I don't know what to do, Shinjiro-Senpai.. I need you here. _Suddenly, the door had burst open and startled her, looking back with tears in her eyes only to see that it was Akihiko standing there, panting heavily.

**"Th-there you are.."** He spoke between gasps for air, the door closing noisely behind him as he approached her. She could easily tell that he had been running for quite a bit, beads of sweat running down his temple as he sat himself beside her. Hamuko's eyes widened, resting the pocketwatch in her lap as she quickly began to wipe her cheeks with her sleeves only for something to stop her suddenly. Looking back, she could see that it was Akihiko's hand. **"It's okay.. Hamuko, you don't have to be strong around me.." **Tears began to pool in her eyes and she suddenly embraced him tightly, crying against his chest much as she had done last night, gripping the back of his uniform tightly and tried pulling him closer. He had gently ran his fingers through her hair, attempting a female was rather an unfamiliar thing for him. The only other one that he remembered comforting was.. _Miki_.

It was strange how much Hamuko reminded him so much of her, shaking his head mentally of those thoughts. He had to comfort her now, his troubled mind will just have to wait. **"I promise, I'll protect you.. Whenever you're feeling down, or lonely.. So, don't hesitate to lean on me, okay?" **He quickly averted his eyes when Hamuko leaned back, trying to dry her eyes. The aroma of Akihiko was comforting her faster than she had anticipated, what was this feeling exactly..? Looking up at him, her eyes had softened to a close as she smiled up at him, **"Thank you, Akihiko-Senpai." **Clearing his throat once he had dared to look into her eyes, a light blush appeared on his cheeks, **"Y-yeah, so let's move forward.. for Shinji's sake, alright..? He'd want nothing more than for your happiness.. to see you smile." **_As do I as well.. _Akihiko thought, glancing over at her for her answer.

Hamuko had nodded, standing up finally and put the pocketwatch in her pocket and glanced back at Akihiko, **"Yes, let's do our best, Senpai!" **Extending her hand to the air, Akihiko stood up and walked over to her with a small smile on his face, turning her back around and suddenly embraced her tightly. Her eyes widened, **"S-Senpai..?" **Her voice had made him snap back to reality, taking a step back and waved to her. **"I'm going to head back early, I have some new training routines to go over.." **With that, he left, leaving Hamuko dumbfounded.

He exhaled roughly, forcing himself to rest his back against the wall and cupped a hand against his face. He was breathing heavily, glancing down at his opposite hand, the one that had pulled her in so closely. _What the hell is happening to me.. There's something about her that just makes me want to.. _**"T'ch.." **He ruffled his hair despite blushing just as strongly as he had before, forcing himself to walk down those stairs. _She'd never want someone like me.. I can never take Shinjiro's place. _


	3. Honor Regained

**AN: **

I'm extremely sorry about the wait! Stupid RL getting in the way.

This is mostly about Akihiko. In the beginning, with his past.. yeah. I kinda made my own version of it since we're given just bits and pieces of things that happened.

Thank you again for the reviews! I hope this one doesn't disappoint.

**[flashback]**

_What's left to protect when you lost everything? _

With the sounds of multiple sirens, people screaming at the top of their lungs and childern crying, and yet, his eyes were directed towards the blazing orphanage. Attempting to struggle out of the hold of the rescuers, **"L-let me go! She's still.. Miki's still.. MIKI!" **Screaming over the roaring fire, followed by the loud creaking of wood as it was destoryed even further beyond recongition. The feeling of hopelessness overwhelmed and he crashed down to his knees, the smoke had already done it's damage to his diaphram and the words he was able to exclaim distraughtly were his last. His consciousness was already fading, struggling to keep his sights on the place that was once his home. _I promised to protect you.. I promised you and I ..- I ... _With his head far too heavy to keep steady, he had collasped into the arms of one of the rescuers and the world turned dark.

As he was able to regain consciousness, he was greeted with an empty, white room. The smell was unmistakable and the beeping sounds at his side only reassured him; none other than a hospital. Pushing himself up to a sitting position, a throbbing sensation had taken place causing him to flinch and reach up, grabbing at either side of his head. **"Wh-where is she..?" **Despite the tragedy that fell upon their home, he was only able to think about one person in general. Jolting up out of the bed, practically ripping the IVs from his arm, he had rushed toward the door only for it to slid open and reveal another small young man with a much more serious demeanor. **"Shinji..!" **His facial expressions remained the same, eyes casted down and off to the side. **"Aki, they weren't able to find Miki.." **Those words casted a heavy weight upon Akihiko's heart, he had leaned up against the wall for support with grit teeth and cupped a hand over his eyes in attempt to hide himself as he wept. **"Damnit.. Goddamnit.." **

**[/endflashback]**

Fiercely thrusting a gloved fist against the punching bag, he continued with his barrage of wild punches, consisting of left hooks, right hooks, jabs and uppercuts. Sweat dribbled down his forehead whilst he panted heavily, the back of his white tank already drenched in sweat. _I have to keep getting stronger.. _Was his repeated thought after the unwanted, heart-wretched memory forced its way back into his mind. The constant reminder of how powerless he was, if things could of been different, if only he had the strength.. Miki would be alive this very day. As he threw each and every punch, the chain which held up the punching bag rattled violently, the only sound ringing within his ears. He continued without fail until a sudden knock on the door had caused him to pause and reached out, grabbing the bag to cease its swinging. **"What is it? I'm busy." **After a moment, his eyes narrowed at the returned silence and went to take a step forward before the visitor had finally spoke, **"Sorry, Akihiko-Senpai, but I need to talk to you. It'll only be just a minute." **

He recongized the voice almost instantly, the second female that had joined the ever-growing group of SEES, Yukari Takeba. Dabbing his forehead with the towel that hung around his shoulders before answering the door, **"What's the matter?" **Standing at the doorway, Yukari seemed rather uncomfortable which was definitely not how she wanted to feel in the first place when she approached Akihiko on the important situation she needed to discuss. Why in the hell did he have to answer the door dressed like that? Clearing her throat and ignoring the heat rushing to her cheeks, Yukari simply closed her eyes and continued, **"It's about Hamuko-San.. You know ever since Shinjiro-Senpai.." **She hesitated, knowing that it was still a delicate subject,** "Well, that day.. Hamuko-San has been mostly keeping to herself. I can't help but to worry about her." **

It was certainly strange, Akihiko thought to himself with his brows furrowing. _Let's do our best, Senpai! _He remembered her declaring so strongly, but was she saying those words for herself.. or just to please him? **"I'd really appreciate it if you could try and help her. I've already tried and.. I got shot down repeatedly, and there's really no hope with Junpei.." **Yukari let out a miserable sigh. It was painful to see one of her friends to be hurting in such a way and refuse to allow anyone to help. As it was clearly seen that she was still hurting, Hamuko had continued doing her best and smiling, going about her daily activites and performing flawlessly in Tartarus. She had heard the crying during the night, the nightmares and screams. If she had only knew how close Hamuko and Shinjiro, perhaps there would of been something more that she could of done. **"I'll do my best, you can count on that." **Akihiko revealed a half-assed smile and Yukari nodded more returning back to her own room. He closed the door and exhaled heavily.

**"Just because you're the leader.. doesn't mean that you can shoulder everything." **He muttered to himself before throwing the towel in the dirty clothes bin before retrieving a clean one, making his way towards the shower. Arguing with himself mentally the entire time, if it really would of been best if he attempted to help her, would he be able to keep his true feelings at bay and not force himself on her? Having to endure those many nights where he merely sat back and indulged himself in useless chatter with the SEES group as Hamuko would go off with Shinjiro late at night. It was confusing, he had never seen Shinjiro hold any interest for any kind of girl but then again.. Hamuko wasn't just any ordinary girl. He was happy for his friend that he was able to find someone that made him happy, but deep inside of himself.. there was a sickening, twisted feeling deep in his gut whenever he saw them together. He didn't understand it and it wasn't until late at night as he relieved himself by thinking of her, making her his own had the disgraceful feeling disappeared.

He returned back to his room when he finished his shower, dressed in comfortable clothes and he reached up, rubbing his short locks. **"Damnit, I can't just leave it alone like this.."** Exiting his room, he walked down the hallway towards the stairs and proceeded to walk with caution, his eyes narrowing and flinched at each and every squeak that was made with each step. Now on the third floor, he began to walk down the girls hallway and passed a nervous glance towards Mitsuru's door. Luckily the light was already out, there was no telling what sort of execution she would have in store for him if he was caught on this floor late at night. He made his way to Hamuko's door and caught his breath, reaching out for the doorknob before stopping in mid-air. _I-if I just enter her room like this.. It would be disgraceful and highly disrespectful for her! But if I knocked.. _Glancing back over to Mitsuru's room, he whispered a curse under his breath.

His hand curled tightly into a fist and deciding to go against the odds, he went to grasp the knob only to be stopped by a soft noise. It startled him at first before leaning his head in to listen only for his eyes to widen slightly. Soft sobs could be heard on the other side of the room, the sound was more than painful to him, knowing that she was crying, he had gripped the knob and whispered, **"Please, excuse me.." **Before entering with his eyes closed tightly, he immediately rose both of his hands in the air once the door was closed behind him, **"Forgive my forceful entry.." **He wanted her to know that it was just him coming in and once he had opened his eyes, he saw her body illuminated by the moonlight and her brown eyes shimmering with tears, staring up at him, shocked. **"Aki..hiko-Senpai..?" **He walked over to her with a serious expression upon his features as he reached out and collected a small teardrop that began to descend down her cheek. She blinked, staring down at it for a moment before immediately shaking her head and waving her hands about frantically, a blush appearing on her cheeks. **"I-it's not what it looks like! I just had a bad dream! Th-that's all..!" **

**"A bad dream about Shinji?" **As he had easily spoke his name, it tore at the strings of her heart and her hands slowly lowered down at her sides, lowering her head. Tears dripping against the center of her legs, **"Hamuko-San.." **Akihiko lowered himself down onto his knees, with the same hand that collected the tear, he had used it to cup against her cheek, redirecting her to look straight into his eyes. Clearly, the concern could be seen. **"Everything will be alright. You have to believe that.. Living a life like this, continously blaming yourself.. This is not a life that he would of wanted you to live. I promised you that I would protect you, and I intend to keep that promise.." **Her eyes widened slowly, feeling her heart quicken and at a loss for words. Akihiko's eyes softened, leaning his upper body closer until their lips were inches from touching. The feeling of her delicate breath rushing against his tiers was something he couldn't describe, he could feel his own heart creating a rampage in his chest. **"Lean on me, Hamuko.." **Not wasting any more time, he had pressed his lips firmly against her own.

Her taste, remarkable. Her scent, intoxicating. Everything that he had imagined her and so much more. He was nearly hesitant in every action that he took, afraid that if he had forced himself onto her too much that she'd either disappear or refuse him. The gentle clap of their lips was heard as they seperated only for him to reconnect them, indulging himself in this fantasy that had come true. The bed creaked slowly as he rose up and began to lean forward, Hamuko's body followed as her back rested against the mattress only for him to hover over her. **"I'm sorry.." **He panted between heated kisses, unable to bring himself to look upon her face, **"I can't help myself.." **His kisses led from her lips, along her cheek and towards her jawline where he kissed down firmly, one hand kept cupped against her cheek and the other grazing up along the side of one of her arms until he had reached her own hand, allowing their fingers to interwine slowly. _I can't take his place, I know that.. but that doesn't stop how strong my feelings are for her.. _He kissed along her jawline, easing his eyes closed and inhaled slowly through his nostrils, cherishing every second of this time he spent so close to her.

**"Akihiko-Senpai.. I-I..." **Her voice had brought him back to earth and slowly pulled back to see her looking up at him with more tears beginning to surface. He simply caressed her cheek, gave her hand a small squeeze before withdrawing. **"Hamuko.. I love you." **His words amazed her, she remained laying there as his lips curved into a soft smile and her heart continued to beat so strongly. **"I didn't understand the feeling at first.. I'm sorry if I'm a little late.." **He laughed at himself. He had never thought of love in such a sincere way, but when he said it, everything just felt.. right. **"I can't bring myself to.. take you like this, it's against what I believe." **And it was taking every ounce of his being to control himself as he was doing picked himself up and rose to a standing position, he continued to smile down at her as she slowly sat up, unable to take her eyes off of him. **"I hope that one day, you'll feel the same way that you did with Shinji, with me. And until that day, let's stand and fight together so when he wakes up, he'll be greeted with a new, peaceful world." **Hamuko reached up, beginning to wipe her eyes and smiled, much more widely than he remembered her doing so before.

**"Together.. We'll win..!" **He nodded warmly to her words before taking his exit. Panting softly as he walked back down the hall, he had regained his honor as quickly as he had lost it in that room. Knowing that this time that Hamuko was serious, they would truely fight and create such world without the Dark Hour, without Shadows and Tartarus. _Shinji, are you watching? Because from here on out, I'm giving you my solid promise that I'm going to give it everything that I got. Things have been rough since that day, but we're beginning to push forward and we're going to keep pushing. We'll continue with our main objective and I won't lose; For you, for Miki.. and for Hamuko. _


End file.
